It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize