she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
