It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I've blown a few things in my day
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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