You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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