Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
