you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
