Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
