Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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