we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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