I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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