are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
