just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
