I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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