I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
