okay pat passed out under dana's car
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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