"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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