i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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