Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
