Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
