You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
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yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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