I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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