Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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