oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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