watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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