Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
