I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
