we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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