You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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