She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
