This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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