Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
