Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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