I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize