I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
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Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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