Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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