On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
