It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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