My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
