dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
