just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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