You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
