At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Im part way to drunk.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize