I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
