i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
