So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
