Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
