He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i love accidental penises.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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