this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
