I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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