So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
