brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I cannot find my penis.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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