WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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