I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
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I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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