Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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