I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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