Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
