I heard we made out
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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