Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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