I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
