I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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