I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You smell like stripper and shame
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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