no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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