I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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