I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
