No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
3 2 1 whiskey
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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