Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
