i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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